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October 22, 2008

Back Update

   It's been just over three months since I went home from work with an aching back.  For the most part, I'd say the chronic pain has really stopped, but I can't seem to shake this incredible stiffness in my lower back.  Every morning, I wake up to this incredibly stiff feeling and have to do press ups to ease it, but it never really goes away.  These past couple of weeks have been pretty rough.  I'm getting tingling in my legs again.  Last night, my right leg would not give up for nearly four hours.  It might have been longer, but I finally fell asleep in spite of the discomfort in my legs and pain in my back.  By the way, press ups are kind of like push ups but you bend from the back.  The idea is that if bending forwards makes the disk pop out, bending back will suck it back in.  

   This has been such a frustrating ride, and I really wish things had been handled differently along the way.  For starters, I probably should have gone straight to an orthopedic doctor instead of the chiropractor.  It took a month from the time I was injured for them to finally order MRI of my back which, at the time, didn't seem odd because I wasn't having all the symptoms of someone with my injury.  Now I understand that those symptoms are just the typical thing and some people never really experience pain even with herniated disks.  Looking back, it would have been smart to know where we were starting to really figure out where we needed to go. 

   Now the good new has been dropped in my lap that I have run out of FMLA.  I'm not completely sure I understand what that means, other than my job is no longer protected.  Workers Compensation has told me it does not mean my money is going to stop coming, thank the Lord.  I don't know how we would make it if I lost my income.  Now is not the best time to be looking for a job.  I've been applying for desk jobs because I really do want to get back to work.  I talked to Human Resources at the University and they gave me forms to have my doctor fill out concerning my long term prognosis.  I finally contacted them again after a couple of weeks to be told they would probably be requesting a second opinion.  I waited to see if they would, but that never came either.  Another phone call and I discover that the forms that my doctor (chiropractor) filled out needed to be completed by a person more "qualified to speak to my long term back issues."  

   Needless to say, I'm starting to get a little worried that things are about to start crashing down around me.  It is so easy to talk to youth kids on a weekly basis and encourage them to trust God, but not always really trust Him with my own stuff.  I know God has a plan, but it feels like there needs to be something more than "trust in God," when bad things happen in someones life.  This is not even that big a deal than what many people deal with every day.  I know that God continually demonstrated His power and will always provide for both my family and myself.  It is just hard to stand there and see the storm coming on the horizon and know there is nothing in my own power I can do to stop it or change it.