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December 13, 2008

Avoiding Sleep

   It is now 11:54 p.m. as I start to write this note.  At the stroke of midnight, my last official day of freedom with my family will have concluded and it was a fairly uneventful day.  The kids (or more importantly, my beautiful wife Sandra) let me sleep in a little bit, but I made up for it by making everyone blueberry pancakes and doing all the dishes.  It was fun to sit around the house relaxing and reading with my kids.  For the past week, they've let me sit in a chair and shoot them with a little foam rocket as they raced down the hall.  Apparently, that's gotten boring.  My son came and grabbed the rocket and ran to my room to hide it from me.  He came back and said, "You'll never never get the rocket! Ha Ha Ha!" With literal ha has.  It was almost creepy minus the fact that it was so darn funny.  

   After lunch, Braeden was willing to read a book with me and I got to lay him down for his nap, which is typically mom-exclusive territory.  After all the naps, we all went swimming with our friends Matt, Shelly and Elijah and then got some tasty goodness from the Teriyaki Bowl.  Most of the spare time in the afternoon and evening was spent creating awesome timing for a PowerPoint to use tomorrow with the third week of Advent.  Even though I helped create it, I'm willing to go out on a limb and say that it is going to rock!

   It's really not that atypical for a weekend where we're in town.  It's just that this is the last Saturday before I have my back surgery.  The house feels filled with some sort of unspoken tension that seems to be intensified without the distraction of little kids constantly asking where some random toy is, or if they can watch a movie or have a snack...really, just name it.  It just feels that there is more tension or nerves going on that we care to admit and sometimes that's as hard as knowing what's coming.  As of tonight, I think I stay up so late just so I can spend time alone in thought.  My mind constantly races with the what-ifs and mindless television watching allows me to process it.
 
   In spiritual gift assessments, faith is always my number one gift.  Sometimes, I wonder if the people around me assume that I don't care because I simply trust for things to work out...almost to the point of things appearing nonchalant or even ho-hum.  I hope my wife, my kids, my family and my friends know how much I really love and care about them.  It would literally destroy me if anything ever happened to them.  I think about what might happen if things don't go smoothly on Monday morning, and I hope I've planned accordingly.  In the end, I trust God will work it out.  In the meantime, I'm going to finish off today with another episode of House.

1 comments:

shellycoulter said...

You and your family are being prayed for by many many people. I hope that you will have Peace about your surgery and are able to sleep tonight!