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February 26, 2009

Life with a 7 day old

   In the morning, I will wake up with my new son already seven days old.  It doesn't really seem possible that he has made it to one week already.  It feels like we just had him, and the time sure does fly.  I remember all those times my mom used to talk about kids growing up so fast.  Back then, I thought to myself, "Seriously, quit whining...time doesn't go fast enough."  Now, I realize how right she was.  My daughter will be five this year, my son three and this guy is seven days old.  I am not convinced I even remember my two other kids at seven days, which really makes me sad.  

   I ask Emerson if she'll just stay little forever for me, but she tells me she can't stay little because she eats too much.  I truly hope that I take advantage of all the time I have with them now.  Sandra is fortunate to be at home with our children, so she experiences the fun little things throughout the day.  I really struggle to focus on them alone because I feel like I am constantly juggling the various aspects of my life.  I'm so concerned with my own wants like my favorite shows or surfing the web.  I want to be more focused with them...perhaps I'll make it a point to write blogs at 10:15 p.m. rather than at 5 when they want to wrestle me and put puzzles together.  I'll take mornings off work to take my son swimming, and take my daughter out to lunch (just the two of us) when I pick her up from pre-school.

   Landen is still doing all the typical seven day old stuff.  He sleeps an incredible amount (never when my wife wishes), and eats like you wouldn't believe. He absolutely already loves to be held and right now, is laying in his bed, which is at the foot of my bed, making the cutest noises in his sleep.  I hope these are the moments I never forget.  Lately, it feels like this melancholy is going to overtake me.  Probably stemming from the fear that I've already messed things up.  I want to be the best possible husband and father, and many times I fail miserably.  I will wake up each day next to my beautiful wife and - following Jesus' example - I'll give her my all and it will hopefully teach the kids some of the best lessons possible.  Then maybe each day will be like this, where I cherish the smallest moments like I cherish the sleeping sounds of my seven day old son.