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March 12, 2009

Madame Blueberry

   For those of you who either 1) aren't nerds or 2) aren't parents, that is a reference to Veggietales.  My kids still love to listen to Veggietales in the van all the time.  Especially Braeden who seems to have developed a certain affinity for the opening song with the tuba playing its little dum dum dum dum in high and low tones.  He still laughs about Larry "pooping," because of the sound it makes.  That is what he says in reference to someone who is farting.  Is it appropriate to say fart in blog world?

   Anyway, I've been feeling like Madame Blueberry off and on for a while now.  She sings a song in one of the videos..."I'm so blue-hoo-hoo, blue-hoo-hoo, blue-hoo-hoo-hoo! I'm so blue I don't know what to do."  I find great joy in having a new child, and seeing how loving the other kids are with each and especially the new baby.  It just feels like something of a dry spell.  The last time I took a spiritual gifts assessment, my top gift was faith.  For the first time since I hurt my back in July, I'm actually feeling a little apprehensive about what God has planned for me.  I don't have enough financial support through the church to sustain us for long.  I also do not want to - and can't afford -  to put our kids in daycare so Sandra can work either.  I love having her at home and whenever I see her interact with the kids, I know she belongs here.  

   I'm loving hanging out with my family, and loving hanging out with students, but pretty much everything else feels "off."  I've not been focusing on weight watchers and can't seem to get back on track.  It just feels like a little bit of a funk.  I don't know what the good answer is, but maybe you can pray for me to have some clear direction from God and provision for my family.  Whatever that looks like.


Angie said...

I'm praying...going through kind of a funk myself so I'll pray for us both!!