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March 30, 2010

Tuesday Morning Thoughts

   Exchanged some email with a friend and realized I have a lot more floating around my head than I thought about going to a new church.  We've visited a number of churches in Laramie, but only one since we were let go from Emmaus.  Honestly we've just found them to be ok.  It isn't that they are bad, but they are just like almost every other church we've been to, and we want more from a church.  Here's what I wrote in one of my emails... 

   I don’t want to be that guy who always talks about the best church he ever went to, or the way it “used to be.” In seeking out a new church, I think I need to find a balance between pushing and being challenged and just settling. I ran into a couple the other night that asked if I was still at Emmaus. I still hate having that conversation. It was odd though because the lady used to help with another student ministry here in town, and actually knew about me and what we were trying to do at Emmaus. The conversation almost immediately turned to another church in town that is looking for a youth person and them encouraging me to talk with them.

   It’s so odd to have conversations like that. It’s like the ending of that really awesome relationship that you used to have with a girl who you thought was “the one.” You invest so much time and effort into it, open yourself up and allow her in places that no other girl had gone before only to have it all just end one day. You walk out the door and know that it will never ever be the same. If I’m willing to admit it to myself, I think I’m a little scared to start investing in another church for fear of having the same thing happen. I’m tired of being frustrated.
   I'm afraid that I am going to easily become that guy.  I have experienced some of the most amazing teachings and music, incredible community and sacrifice, and I don't want to just settle.  I know churches and hear stories from churches that still experience that, but honestly, I don't see that in Laramie.  Do I stay here for my friendships and the relationships my kids have built, or is it time to simply move on?  But does that mean I am expecting too much?  The best church experiences I've had for a while are sitting around on the floor with people in my Journey Group trying to understand some passage from scripture or some lesson on how we really live out the Gospel.  Is that all I need?