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May 26, 2011

My Strong Willed Softie

   Braeden is having his preschool graduation tomorrow.  Although we have decided to wait one year before sending him to Kindergarten so technically he isn't really graduating.  When Sandra dropped him off this morning, they asked if he was going to be there for the program.  This hadn't even been a question for us.  He is SO excited about the program and has been talking about it all week.  He tells us how he made a special hat for it, and wants to make sure that we are going to be there.  It is so special to him, even though we've told him he won't start Kindergarten in the fall and may get to "graduate" twice.

   Sandra told them that he was planning to be there, and was told they had already printed the programs without his name since he wasn't really moving on.  Sandra told them it wasn't a big deal, but that he would have hurt feelings if he didn't get to be a part of it, so they are going to make sure he can still participate and get a certificate too.

   A couple of days ago, Braeden stayed in bed until his night light changed to a sunshine - his cue that he's allowed to get out of bed.  He was very proud for waiting until the right time and came running in yelling about how his sunshine was up.  My first reaction was just to quickly put my hand over his mouth so we could close the door and not wake up little brother with his shouts.  It wasn't intended to be mean or anything.  I just know my strong willed little boy gets excited over things and tends to get loud about it.  Needless to say, it sort of surprised me when he burst into tears and cried for ten minutes telling me how it wasn't nice to put my hand on his mouth and it really hurt his feelings.

   Is it possible to have a child that is both strong willed, and still a softie?  Braeden is that kid.  It's been nagging at me lately that maybe I'm reading his signals wrong.  Not even reading them wrong, but possibly that I'm missing out on seeing other sides of him because so much attention is focused on the dominant traits.  It's so easy to point out that Braeden can be tough and that he is a dominant strong willed kid. What about his softer side though?  He is so tender sometimes.  He absolutely loves to snuggle and have people lay in bed with him. We don't even have to talk...he just loves having some there with him.  He gets excited when little babies are around and wants to look at them and hold them.  We'll be shopping and he will see something that Emerson would love and wants to get it in order to surprise her.  At lunch when I lay Landen down for a nap, he wants to sit on the floor next to me quietly until I finish.

   He is so much more complex than I give him credit for.  It is so much easier to focus on the difficult parts because they are so readily visible to the world. The world doesn't get to snuggle with him or have him tell his amazingly intricate and creative stories.  They don't get to see how excited he gets over little things and the tender moments.  I love my son.  I think I need to give a little more credit, and a little more attention to that softer side in him.  I don't want him to guard his heart and close people off like I do.  I want the world to see the softer side that I'm seeing.


Jon Kelly said...

He is a beautiful boy & I love him very much too. :)