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July 7, 2011


   38 days from today, my wife and I will board a flight to go to California so Sandra can have surgery to correct skeletal issues with her jaw.  This process began about two years ago.  We drove to Fort Collins to see a highly recommended orthodontist about her TMJ issues.  He gave us a lot of information to think about because of the severity of her case - if you want to read about that, check out this link. Long story short, her issues went beyond normal TMJ and couldn't really be corrected without surgery. That time is finally here.

   Surgery is scheduled for August 17 and we have to be in California from the 14th until the 31st.  The surgery fees have been paid, the flights are booked, we're ready to roll.  It's just that we are not ready to leave the kids behind.  I think it finally hit us (especially Sandra) last night that we will be away from our kids for two and a half weeks.  We've never been gone from them so long and the idea is hard.  We are making arrangements for people to take care of them and they will be with grandparents for almost all of it, but it doesn't make it any easier.

   These guys mean everything to me.  I honestly have no idea if I could ever get past it if something ever happened to them.  As a husband and father, where should my priorities lie?  Sandra is not able to go to California alone for all of this.  Do I ask someone else to go to California with my wife while she goes through a major surgery?  Do I ask family and friends to take care of my kids so I can go?  Do I bring the family out there with us?  I think it is pretty easy to second guess a decision someone else makes.  Not many people need to make choices like this.

   I love my kids in ways that I never thought were even possible.  No matter what kind of day I'm having, or if I am happy, angry, frustrated or sad, they have the ability to get beyond all that and melt my heart.  In the end, it came down to the fact that Sandra is my wife.  She is first in my life, even before my kids.  I would go to the ends of the earth to love her and take care of her.  I will pray constantly for my kids to not struggle or feel abandoned while we're gone.  I'll pray God protects my wife physically and emotionally.  I will trust that the God who has brought us through so many incredible things in the past 9 years of marriage will continue to amaze me during this time as well.


Matt Coulter said...

Hey man, I'm late commenting on this post, but I wanted to say for whatever it's worth I think you're making the right choice to be with Sandra during this time. It seems to me that a husband's first priority (as far as family goes) is always, always to his wife. The best thing you can do for your kids is love and support your wife. They may be too young to understand it fully, but your boys will see this and tuck it away in their little memories as to how to treat and love their wives someday.

It's a tough situation, one no one envies, for sure. We'll do what we can to help make it as painless as possible for you. Love you guys!